Hello everyone. Its been a minute since I have been on here. Wont go into too much detail but I decided to get sober, well started off as sober curious. To say it has been a battle is a very big understatement.

It all started a few months ago when I realized just how bad I have gotten. Im pretty sure I knew way before that being that I have found a dozen or so self help books , how to stop drinking books etc from months and months ago that obviously were hidden away as soon as I would get one. Nobody wants to be drinking and spot one of those books. Would have really killed my buzz or turn me into a neurotic mess . Go figure.

So here I am now reading all of those books praying every second of every day that I dont drink. Literally every second of every day I have to pray and pray oh and then cry alot just to not drink. Its crazy how much alcohol has truly affected every aspect of my body . The mental part is really fucking with me. I work in a damn bar and have all my life so theres that. But i have noticed I do have some goood moments with it all every now and then which I am sure will become more and more the further I go in this journey.

In all of this so far I have realized that YOU r the only one that can make yourself quit. Not your family not your friends kids, parents, spouses. YOU have got to really want to do this. And I have only just begun. Its been a shitshow inside of my head. Whats the scariest thing is for me anyways is really getting to know myself my true self. It scares the hell outta me.

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